Post by Nemits - Former Minnesota GM on Jan 11, 2009 2:22:28 GMT -5
Okay, since nobody seemed to give a flying fuck in a handbag about the Free Agency period (you all know who you are) I will do the season preview show first. A little snip about each team, followed by my Beasts of the East (Top 3 Predictions) Best of the West (Same Thing) And 3 Sneaky Sams (Teams to Watch Out For), and the ever popular BOTTOM 5! I may get around to the Free Agent report later, but for now, lets give the people what they want! Oh and, I won't be looking at last season performance, just their rosters (might make an exception for San Jose).
SEASON PREVIEW!
His roster wasn't updated, so fuck him, he will probably win the division title though, because everybody else in that division sucks.
His roster wasn't much better, but at least its all there *I think* Holy Centres Batman. He has more centres then you can shake your ass at. Too bad that's all he has. A lack luster Defense and mediocre goaltending will be the downfall of this team.
Now here's a team to watch out for. Loaded with talent, not the least of which was acquiring Iginla in the offseason, like Jesus Fuck, that's all this team needed, more awesome. Nash, Getzlaf, Iginla, Perry, Lucic, Phanuef, Green, Blake, Vokoun. I don't know what you did Bruins, but you have one hell of a team. Play-off team and expect them to go deep.
Meh. I don't know, you don't have a bad team, but when I look at your roster I just go meh. Vanek, yay, McDonald, Hecht, Filpula, Rucinsky, Armstrong, your Defense, Huet, Meh. Expect a play-off team, but not deep.
Nothing to do with the team here, but the GM is quite the character. Anyways, Flames have a solid team all around, not having any glaring weaknesses. Letting go of Iginla didn't make sense, especially when he got no noticeable stars in return, just a lot of solid players. Solid as they may be, none are Iginla. Play-off team if all lines can score.
Tavares, Shore, and some veterans and you got a good team. No glaring weaknesses, although the Defense is lackluster at best. With so much cap space, I expect to see the Canes make some moves. Play-off team.
Another offensively talented team, lacking slightly in the defensive area. Not as bad as some teams.If they get the Bulinwall, and Burns can take the reigns as a defensive leader, play-off team, if not, I don't see it happening.
This team won't make the play-offs. Want to know why? One word, well two words, whatever. Peter Budaj will not lead this team to the play-offs. Not when your best Defense man is Liles. Oh and he has Tucker, if history repeats itself, the team with Tucker won't make the play-offs.
Hahahaha. *Clears throat* Sorry. This team is so mediocre its not even funny. Everything about the team and its players just screams mediocrity at me. I love the GM, but he has a lot to do with this club if he wants to make the play-offs.
This looks familiar, I could copy/paste what I said for Columbus but I like to think I am better then that. The GM is going to have to ride Theodore for all he's worth if he wants to make the play-offs. That or make trades.
Someone once said you can't win the cup without Swedes. Detriot took that to heart. After already winning the cup in season 1, he said fuck you to his team, and traded pretty much everybody away for Swedish players. Probably the softest team in the league, but will he be the best again? Only time will tell. Play-off team.
Kicks ass. Will repeat as Division Champs. Sorry Edmonton, stiffing you a real review, but there's not a lot to say, your team kicks ass
Has a pretty good team, including defense. While I question the goal tending, their GM has faith, and Hiller did bring them to the playoffs last year, lets see if he can do it again. Will be 6th-10th placed team.
I think he has one of the best centre cores in the league. His wingers aren't bad either. His defense isn't great, but Fleury makes up for that between the pipes, play-off contender for sure.
After a disappointing 9th last year, the GM added new faces. Good defense, decent offense, and if Raycroft can play the way he did last season, this team could very well be play-off bound. Oh yeah, they have some players that will fuck you up.
Can you say Kostitsyns? Both had great seasons, if they can do that again, Montreal will be set. Soild, well-rounded offense, solid defense, and Price in net, look for Montreal to repeat what they did last year.
It's Nashville. What more is there to say. If Ryan can show some of his potential, and Chara (who was an excellent pick up) leads the defense, expect them to do well. Play-ff bound? I doubt it, not with Gerber.
Every time I mention somebody with a Centre Core of Awesome, it is nothing compared to New Jersey's. Spezza, Kopitar, Brind'amour, and Koivu. I think I just came a little. Top that off with good wingers and you have a winning combination. Hedman too! Paired with Rafalski, I think he will shine. Kimmo in net got them deep, very deep (that's what she said) last year, expect him to do it again.
The Islanders suck. Not gonna make the play-offs. Next.
This team is the Sedins and Kipper. Not much else special. Mediocre forwards and shit D, I expect the Rangers to finish in a 9th or 10th spot.
Senators have an above average forward group, a meh defense core, and Fernadez in net. To be honest, I have no idea how they finished first in the East last year, although their first round exit to the Pens came as no surprise. This team surprised me last season, so it might happen again. More then likely a play-off team.
The new GM came in and threw a shit fit. He said fuck you to everybody and made a new team. He has a very average team, on paper, but I expect to do well, although the addition of a top defense man couldn't hurt. Oh, and a decent Left Wing.
I am quite impressed with what the GM was able to do. He turned a shit team into play-off contenders. How deep? I don't know, but I think he'll be there. He looked at what his team needed, and made it happen.
Has a very impressive team. On paper. They couldn't preform last year, and barely made the play-offs. This season I expect him to do a lot better. I hope he doesn't disappoint. He has everything going for him, Forwards, Defense, Goaltending. A fuck up this year and I expect a clean house for season 3.
Made the play-offs last year, which was quite surprising. Some of his key players played amazingly, and if they do it again, I expect another squeak into the 8th spot, only to lose to first ranked team again.
What the fuck did he do to this team. Didn't make the play-offs and had a shit season. Biggest disappointment by far. Lets hope the GM pulls his shit together for season 2, and actually gets a team that shows up.
Has a solid team, led by Datsyuk, but goaltending may be an issue. I wouldn't rely on Smith to take him far this season. Defense isn't great either, especially not in front of a goaltender I don't have faith in. Watch the GM though, he has moves up his sleeves.
It's the Leafs, expect another season filled with disappointment, then miss the play-offs, and take a poor rookie, who's career will never be the same.
Any team with Luongo can win. Helps when he has above average offense, and a solid enough defense. Not that defense matters as much when you have Luongo. But Cloutier, come on Nucks, fucking Suck McGee would be a better back up.
He gave up Ovie for nothing, but that isn't the current GMs fault. He beefed up his Defense, kept his young offense. Scoring was an issue, and I think he touched upon that this off season. Even with these improvements, I predict a 9th or 10th place finish.
Now its time for the Tops! I'll start off with the:
Beasts Of The East!
1. - No doubt in my mind that Boston will place first. If they stay healthy, I expect a cup run from them.
2. - They have a lot to prove after last seasons pile of fuck. A Boston/Pittsburgh play-off series would be an epic one indeed.
3. - I think that if he can address his goaltending, or if Smith stands on his head, Tampa will finish in 3rd, although that also is because the rest of the division sucks. Atlanta will be a close 2nd.
Best Of The West!
1. - How can I pick anybody but the Wins. No that is not a typo. Even with the all Swede approach, I think he can take another run to the cup.
2. - Kick ass team, and easily the best in the Division. As long as they say healthy, and the GM doesn't have any brain aneurysms, then the Oilers should be well on there way to a cup run.
3. - What the fuck Nemits, have you gone insane? No, I haven't and fuck you for thinking it. LA has spun this team right round, like a record baby right round right round. A few minor tweaks and I wouldn't be surprised to see these guys playing in the West Conference Final.
Sneaky Sams!
1. - I don't know what it is, but the Flyers give me a good feeling about them. Expect them to surprise a few people.
2. - Underestimate them all you like, the GM has added new, better faces to this franchise, and this team will go places, no doubt in my mind.
3. - I don't know if they can fit into this catergory, after going to the Cup Final last year, but even last year I think teams underestimated these guys, and I think they can repeat last years success.
Worst Of The Worst!
Switching it up this time, with a countdown:
3. - It's the Leafs, do I need a reason?
2. - I don't know how you managed to fuck up a team like San Jose, but god help me you did, I don't expect much more then we got from San Jose last year.
1. / / - None of their GMs are going to do enough to change the shitfest of last season. I expect them all to suck, and suck hard.
Beasts Of The East!
1. - No doubt in my mind that Boston will place first. If they stay healthy, I expect a cup run from them.
2. - They have a lot to prove after last seasons pile of fuck. A Boston/Pittsburgh play-off series would be an epic one indeed.
3. - I think that if he can address his goaltending, or if Smith stands on his head, Tampa will finish in 3rd, although that also is because the rest of the division sucks. Atlanta will be a close 2nd.
Best Of The West!
1. - How can I pick anybody but the Wins. No that is not a typo. Even with the all Swede approach, I think he can take another run to the cup.
2. - Kick ass team, and easily the best in the Division. As long as they say healthy, and the GM doesn't have any brain aneurysms, then the Oilers should be well on there way to a cup run.
3. - What the fuck Nemits, have you gone insane? No, I haven't and fuck you for thinking it. LA has spun this team right round, like a record baby right round right round. A few minor tweaks and I wouldn't be surprised to see these guys playing in the West Conference Final.
Sneaky Sams!
1. - I don't know what it is, but the Flyers give me a good feeling about them. Expect them to surprise a few people.
2. - Underestimate them all you like, the GM has added new, better faces to this franchise, and this team will go places, no doubt in my mind.
3. - I don't know if they can fit into this catergory, after going to the Cup Final last year, but even last year I think teams underestimated these guys, and I think they can repeat last years success.
Worst Of The Worst!
Switching it up this time, with a countdown:
3. - It's the Leafs, do I need a reason?
2. - I don't know how you managed to fuck up a team like San Jose, but god help me you did, I don't expect much more then we got from San Jose last year.
1. / / - None of their GMs are going to do enough to change the shitfest of last season. I expect them all to suck, and suck hard.