FUNNY STORY
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, dont take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you dont know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello?"
I politely said, "Hello, This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?
Suddenly a manic voce yelled out in my ear "GET THE RIGHT FUCKING NUMBER!" and then the phone was slammed down on me. I couldnt beleive that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyns correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the "WRONG" number again. Whe the same guy answered, I yelled "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word "ASSHOLE" next to it and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I would call him up and yell "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE" and then hang up.
It always Cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "ASSHOLE" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company, I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID program?"
He yelled "NO!" and then slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "THATS BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" and then hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a relly nice black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I honked my horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me and walked away. I noticed that he had a "FOR SALE" sign in the back window of his car, So I wrote down his number and put it in my wallet.
A couple days later, Right after calling the first asshole, I thought I would give the BMW asshole a call too.
he answered, "Hello?"
I replied, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is"
I asked, "Could you be kind enough to tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, In fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car is parked right out front."
I asked, "Whats your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen." I asked, "When is a good time I can catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, Can I tell you someting?" He said "Yes?" I replied, "Don, YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" Then I hung up.
After I hung up, I came up with an Idea. I called asshole #1.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!" ... But I didnt hang up.
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He Screamed, "STOP CALLING ME!"
I said, "Make me!"
He asked me, "Who the hell are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah, Where do you live."
I said, "ASSHOLE, I Live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, In Fairfax. In a yellow ramber, and I have my Black Beemer parked out front."
He said, "I'm comming over right now, Don, And you better start saying your prayers!"
I said, "Yeah, Like I'm really Scared, ASSSHOLE!" and then hung up..
Then I quickly called Asshole #2.
He said, "hello?"
I said, "HEY, ASSHOLE!"
He yelled, "IF I EVER FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL.." and then stopped talking.
I said, "You'll What?"
He exclaimed, "I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"
I answered, "Well guess what, ASSHOLE, Heres your chance. I'm comming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was going to 34 Oaktree BLVD in Fairfax to kill my gay lover.
Then I called Channel 9 news about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd in Fairfax.
I Quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I had got there just in time to watch the two assholes beating the crap out of eachother in front of Six cop cars, and overhead news helicopter, and surrounded by news crews.
NOW, I feel much better.
Anger management really does work!
wrong thread
Jan 21, 2019 4:09:57 GMT -5
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Jan 21, 2019 4:09:57 GMT -5
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